Parenting with Purpose – An Islamic Perspective

Parenting is a profound journey, a voyage filled with countless moments of joy, and challenges. Parenting is not just an experience; it is, in essence, an investment. An investment that transcends the boundaries of time, shaping not only the future of our offspring but also the world they will inherit.

In our lifetime, we feel tempted to invest in so many lucrative schemes that may provide us a bounteous return. Business minded people are especially on the lookout for such opportunities. As soon as they see one, they leap to reap its benefits. While there is nothing wrong in making such an investment choice which makes life little easy, in fact, making life easy and beautiful is recommended in Islam through ‘knowledge’ and ‘art’.

But  let us never lose sight of the best Investment, we can make in our lifetime and that is for Akhira (Eternal life) – ‘Our Children’. Children are an AMANAH (Trust) for Institution of Marriage through the divine creation plan of the Creator. And, It’s  our Conscious Parenting that raises them to be confident, hard-working, productive and most importantly, God-fearing individuals who will be an asset to the Ummah. 

“When a man dies, his action discontinues from him except three things, namely, perpetual sadaqah (charity), or the knowledge by which benefit is acquired, or a pious child who prays for him.”

[Sunan Abi Dawud]

Grooming your children to become good human beings in terms of Ilm-o-Akhlaq is the most rewarding investment you can make for our afterlife and this life.

Parenting is a fundamental responsibility that demands attention and intention. In Islam, the Qur’an and Sunnah provide clear guidance on how to prioritize the needs of our children to ensure their moral and physical well-being in this world and the Hereafter.

 One of the biggest requirements of grooming children is to develop a relationship of friendship with them. Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) advised parents – “Play with them for the first seven years (of their life); then teach them for the next seven years; then advise them for the next seven years (and after that).”

The narratives of the noble prophets and believers, such as Ibrahim A.S Yaqub A.S and Luqman,  offer valuable lessons on parenting that emphasize the importance of teaching the Oneness of Allah, good character, etiquette, and justice.

One of beautiful story of sound Parenting mentioned  in the Qur’an is of ‘Luqman: The Wise’

He was a wise man in Arabia, and was regarded by the Quraysh as the Socrates of their nation. He was famous among the Arabs as a sage and as a sagacious person. Classical Arab poets mention him and his tribe in their poetry.

It is evident from this that he and his tribe possessed great majesty in Yemen and they were from among the remnants of the people of ‘Ād. What further becomes evident from it is that he had a somewhat patriarchal status of leadership in his tribe. It is also evident from the pieces of advice mentioned ahead that they were given at the time when he was entrusting the responsibility of leadership to his son.

Allah mentioned his story in Quran- “We gave precisely this wisdom to Luqmān and directed him : “Be grateful to God” – and he who is grateful, will be grateful for his own self and he who is ungrateful, God does not care about him because God is self-sufficient; He has praiseworthy attributes.  (Quran 31:12)

One day, Luqman called his children together and began to give them some very important advice in following words – “Recall when Luqmān, while counseling his son, had said:  “Son! Do not associate partners with God. In reality, polytheism is a great injustice.” 

[Luqmān said:] 

“Son! The fact is that if deed is equal to even the grain of a mustard seed, then whether it is in a small mountain pass  or is in the heavens or in the earth, God shall retrieve it. Indeed, God is discerning; He is aware of everything.

“Son! Be diligent in the prayer, urge what is good and forbid evil and whatever mishap strikes you [in this path], be steadfast on it.  It is because these are the tasks which have been emphasized.”

This verse highlights the importance of establishing prayer and enjoining what is right and forbidding what is wrong, which were all important aspects of the advice that Luqman gave to his children.

“And be not indifferent to people, and walk not arrogantly on the land because God does not like the arrogant and the conceited.

Be moderate in your gait and keep your voice toned down. In reality, the most hideous of voices is the braying of the donkey.” 

This verse reminds us of the importance of humility, which was another key piece of advice that Luqman gave to his children.

By mentioning the story of Luqman and his advice to children, Allah is emphasizing the importance of passing down knowledge from generation to generation, particularly when it comes to matters of faith and morality. Allah wants us to learn from the example of Luqman and to strive to be like him, passing on our knowledge and wisdom to our own children and future generations. 

Prophet Muhammad pbuh- said,

 “Every one of you is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. The leader of people is a guardian and is responsible for his subjects. A man is the guardian of his family and he is responsible for them. A woman is the guardian of her husband’s home and his children and she is responsible for them” (Bukhari and Muslim).

In conclusion, investing in our children’s upbringing is the best investment we can make in life. By nurturing them with love, guidance, and support, we can help them become successful in this life and the Hereafter. 

As Allah (SWT) says in the Quran, “O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones” (66:6). Let us take this responsibility seriously and strive to raise our children in the best way possible.

(An insight from Luqman: The Wise)

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