Marriage is a noble practice in Islam, but nowadays when we talk about it, people are often horrified, picturing an arranged marriage, trying to find that “perfect” companion, how much of a financial burden it will become, and so on.
Well, the beauty is that your religion came to solve these problems, not make them worse. Yet unfortunately, we have integrated our local traditions and customs with Islam so that marriage has become a major concern for both men and women rather than a delightful experience in these modern times.
When living in a sexually free Western society, the Muslim male youth finds many temptations and tests as a result of mixing with females, which he must face and overcome. He must constantly resist these temptations, which are thrown at him in the streets, in the media, and at workplace.
And so the wisdom of the Prophet (S) echoes on, when he said:
“O young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains the eyes from casting (evil glances) and preserves one from immorality.”
When seriously considering marriage, you must pose the question to yourself as to what kind of partner you want and what her qualities should be in order to establish an Islamic and peaceful household.
Marriage is a serious step and requires the right attitude. A woman married for the wrong reasons can only weaken the Muslim household. Consider that she will be your lifelong companion and the mother of your children. Don’t marry her for her worldly wealth, but for her wealth in Islamic wisdom and knowledge. Her status in this life is only illusionary, so choose her for her status in the sight of Allah.
Her physical beauty is superficial, but the beauty of her Iman is transcendent. The reverse is also true. A man married for the wrong reasons can only create unforseen discontent and sheer frustration that may carry on for the rest of the couple’s marital lives. Seeking qualities like an established professional or a handsome man who is “well off,” yet with no character or Islamic ideals, is against the Sunnah prescribed by our beloved Prophet (S).
Having the attitude of “fixing him” or “changing him later” is a big misconception that many women (and men) hold. Starting off with a man who has character, religious convictions and manners is indeed a blessed beginning that can flourish and weave a truly blissful relationship, warts and all!
When asking Allah for a spouse, call upon Him by His beautiful names, as He has commanded us: “For Allah are certain and dignified names; therefore call upon Him by them [7:189]. Ask for a companion who is devout, pious, patient and so on. Be among those who say, “Our Lord, may our spouses and our offspring be a joy to our eyes and make us leaders of the righteous [25:74].
There can’t be a better conclusion than saying that you must put your trust in Allah. You must have trust in His concern for us and His ability to help us. As the Quran says, “Put your trust in Allah, for Allah loves those who put their trust in Him.”
May Allah help us in our sincere efforts to follow His commandments and the way of His beloved servant and provide us with wives and husbands whom He loves.
Furthermore, Allah says, “When my servants ask you concerning Me, I am indeed close to them; I respond to the prayer of every supplicant when he calls on Me. Let them also, with a will, listen to my call and believe in me, that they may walk in the right way”.
Indeed, we can easily deduce from this verse Allah’s mercy, so we should seek Allah’s help, as he is the Sustainer of every believer.
But you also have to do your part to seek “the one” and not simply rely on dua without doing anything else. You must endeavor to combine the power of dua with your own actions to fulfill your duty towards marriage.
So go ahead and delve into our upcoming series dealing with the topic of Marriage while we pray to our Almighty Lord to help every brother and sister out there choose a spouse that will help them complete half of their Iman (faith).